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Try these 10 ways to prevent infidelity in your relationship!
Most men do not cheat because they don't love you anymore. Men cheat
because they want more variety in their sex lives. Some complain of
being bored. They want to feel adored by their partners; they want to
assert their freedom; they are tired of disappointing you; they want a
partner who places them at the center of their life, and they no longer
feel like the priority in yours.
Sometimes it's because you are speaking different love languages, and
some men say it is a biological directive to procreate with as many
women as possible for survival of the species. Whatever the reason, men
have an innate need to feel respected and appreciated by their partners.
It is most disconcerting for a man to realize he has disappointed his
partner in some way. He wants to be her hero.
So, here are 10 ways to prevent your man from cheating:
1. Be willing to initiate sex. Men equate sex with desirability. Help
your man to feel desired by expressing your love in a physical way.
2. Be open to experimentation. It can be easy to get comfortable and
fear of the unknown can stop you from being open to different sexual
experiences. Allow your man to try new things with you. If you won't,
there will be someone else who will. I'm not saying to engage in sexual
activity you find repulsive but allow yourself to experience new things
with the man you love.
3. Don't over-accommodate. Sometimes in a relationship, a woman can
become too accommodating. Men get into relationships with a very clear
picture of what a lifetime partner looks like and this is often in stark
contrast to whom he may have dated casually. Women work to become the
person their partner wants them to be and in doing so, they lose
themselves. One day, their man realizes this is what he asked for but he
isn't sure it's what he really wants. Maintain a healthy sense of self
in your relationship.
4. Don't become too controlling. Often without realizing it, when we get
into relationships we attempt to control the other person to do what
works best for us. We engage in destructive relationship habits such as
complaining, blaming, criticizing, nagging, threatening, punishing and
bribing or rewarding to control.
5. Make sure he knows how much you appreciate him. Sometimes when women
"get" the guy and get married, they begin to get a false sense of
security. Remember, all relationships are voluntary. A person can leave
at any time. With an over 50% divorce rate in this country, we need to
remember how important it is to maintain a positive relationship, not
simply to acquire one.
6. Let him have time to himself. Some men cheat because they begin to
feel hemmed in by the relationship. Engaging in an affair can provide
them the sense of freedom they lose in a relationship. Allow your man
time for himself without you. Don't try to monopolize all your guy's
time. Be open to time apart for him to spend with friends, pursue
hobbies, etc. so he does not feel he has no freedom.
7. Be aware of your emotions. Whether or not we are aware of it, women
are masters at using their emotions to communicate volumes without
speaking any words. We communicate anger, rage, sadness and
disappointment that is received by our partners.
Instead of taking that as a cue to do something different, some men
begin to look for another partner who idolizes them the way you used to.
Don't forget, your man wants to know he lights you up not that he is
constantly disappointing you.
8. Prioritize your relationship. Often, when a man cheats, you will find
the woman is also having an "affair" that's not sexual. It's more
socially appropriate. This "affair" takes the form of prioritizing
something, anything, over the relationship. This could be a job,
children, a sick relative, a charity or anything that puts her man lower
on her totem pole than the first position.
Prioritize your relationship over everything else. This is the
relationship you want to last for all your life. Other things will fade
away and the relationship will still be there if you tend to it
carefully.
9. Learn his love language. If you are not familiar with Dr. Gary
Chapman's The Five Love Languages, please read it. It has the potential
to save more marriages than marriage counseling has. Learn your man's
love language and speak it to him regularly. He will know he is loved
and remain true to you.
10. Find his relationship pattern. I do not know how to combat the
biology argument. Some men simply believe it is hard wired into their
genes to have sexual relations with as many women as they can. If this
is your man, it probably won't matter what you do. Try to recognize
these men early on by asking about their dating history.
If this is a pattern with your man, he probably isn't likely to change
just because you love him best. Your best defense against this problem
is to be discriminating at the onset.
If you have read this article and wonder, what about him? What does he
need to do? I wanted to write an article for women. I encounter more
women in pain over their mate's infidelity than I do men. This is for
you.
And I want to conclude by saying, if you are unhappy in your
relationship, don't point your finger at your partner. Look into the
mirror and decide what it is that's causing the unhappiness. If you want
something different from your man, ask for it. If he gives you what you
want, then great! If he doesn't then look inside yourself for the
solution. Accept your man as he is and adjust yourself to better be able
to manage your relationship. And if he is violating one of your
non-negotiables, leaving might be your best option.
